My Life as a Dyke

My name is Coral(23), I love music (loud) I need adventure (nature and late night outings, road trips to fun places) I love tattoos and piercings, art, soccer and ya know whatever. I'm kinda up for anything (really). I currently reside in Marina, California (come visit me!)

As of Aug 11 2011-
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I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.

Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too.

Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.

Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say — what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp.

Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right?

Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow.

I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.

What People Really Look Like  (via imanidiotthatswhyimworried)

My gf is a massage therapist. I will be showing her this.

(via drunkmountaingoat)

baybearslikepasta:

piecesofamoonchyld:

Recently Kaige told us he wishes he could be both a boy and a girl because he likes playing princesses as much as ninjas and he doesn’t want to get made fun of. So we bought him a tutu and gave him a makeover. Meet the new and improved Kaige. If you have a problem with it please keep it to yourself and kindly stay out of his life. Which would be a shame because as you can see he’s freakin’ awesome! #letmebeme #mumblr #stopbullying

(via destinee91111)

dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

(via touchthatbooty)

yaoihandspom:

amporafest:

xhonk:

stillspoopingforspook:

terezi:

4gifs:

Sun melting crayons time-lapse rainbow [video]

OH MY GOD

notice the one yellow-green crayon that’s too cool to melt

notice the red starts slow then BAM

just like a period

just like a period

(via rastastoner19)

(via jayropa)

bambicalifornia:

kennyvee:

kjuw89:

justplainsomething:

hermionegranger:

Real Time with Bill Maher: 6.6.14 — Anthony Weiner, Jim Geraghety, Nicolle Wallace

#FINALLYSOMEONESAYSIT

Holy shit, Anthony Weiner actually said something important.

It’s a miracle!

That’s been the Republican strategy since day one of Obama’s presidency. Block the President at every turn, then blame him for not getting anything done. In fact, here’s Newt Gingrich openly admitting to it.

That’s why Republicans block jobs bills — so they can blame Obama for the economy still sucking. They’ve blocked budgets, resulting in a government shutdown that they then tried to blame on Obama. They’ve tried over and over again to block Obamacare, and complain that it’s a failure as they work their asses off to try to make it fail.

It’s kindergarten politics, and we need to vote these schmucks out in November. A bunch of white guys throwing temper tantrums and shouting NO! to everything just because they don’t like the president is no way to run a government, especially if we’re going to continue to pretend to be one of the greatest nations on earth.

^^

Omg yes thank you

(via fiftyshadesofmatthew-gray)

  • Me: 911 whats up
  • Caller: yeah I think someone's in my house right now?
  • Me: damn, g you aint lock the door?
  • Caller: ....what?
  • Me: nah I'm playin I'm sending the police over you live on the southside tho they gone be about 4 hours